Text 01 · 5 months out
Hi {GuestFirstName}! It's Elena & Jack - saving this number means our wedding updates never look like spam. Everything you'll need is here: {Link:wedding-website}
First text, signed1 segment · GSM-7Personalize
Wedding guest texts
Is it rude to text wedding guests?
No - for logistics, reminders and updates, texting your guests isn't just acceptable, it's what they expect; only a handful of moments - the formal invitation, a postponement, the thank-you note - still deserve paper or a phone call, and the table below makes that call for every moment from save-the-date to thank-you.
The green list
✅ Texts nobody thinks are rude
Logistics, reminders and updates are why guests want your number in the first place. Every text below is fully polite for every tier of your list - including the formal one - because it saves the guest effort instead of asking for any.
Text 02 · 4 months out
Wedding note from Priya & Tom: our hotel block at the Linden releases May 1 - book before it goes: {Link:hotel-block}
Hotel block deadline1 segment · GSM-7Personalize
Text 03 · 2 weeks out
Dear {GuestFirstName}, a brief note ahead of Saturday: valet parking is available at the museum entrance from half past four. We look forward to seeing you. - Amara & Theo
Formal-tier logistics1 segment · GSM-7Personalize
Text 04 · Wedding morning
Today's the day! Doors open 4pm at the Orchard Hall, ceremony 4:30. Parking map: {Link:directions}
Day-of logistics1 segment · GSM-7Personalize
Text 05 · 2 days out
Hi {GuestFirstName} - quick update from Rosa & Ben: Saturday's forecast turned, so the ceremony moves to the conservatory at the same time. Nothing else changes!
Weather change1 segment · GSM-7Personalize
The channel call, made for your dates
The free planner turns your wedding date into a dated send plan with the channel labeled on every send. The call-first and mail-only moments never appear in it, because they aren't texts; the table on this page is where those live.
The absorbed question
👗 Texting guests about the dress code
A dress-code text isn't rude - it's a favor, timed for when guests are actually deciding what to pack. State the code once on the invitation's details card (our invitation wording guides cover that line), then let the text do the reminding.
Text 06 · 48 hours out
Hi {GuestFirstName}! Two days to go - a friendly reminder that Saturday is cocktail attire. Outfit questions? Just reply, we'd love to help.
48-hour reminder1 segment · GSM-7Personalize
Text 07 · 1 week out
Dress code reminder for Saturday: garden formal. The ceremony is on grass, so wedges beat stilettos. More: {Link:wedding-website}
Code plus terrain tip1 segment · GSM-7Personalize
Text 08 · 2 weeks out · Formal-tier guests
Dear {GuestFirstName}, a gentle reminder that our evening is black tie. We are so pleased {PartyMembers} will be with us. - Noor & Alexander
Black-tie reminder1 segment · GSM-7Personalize
Text 09 · 48 hours out
48-hour fashion bulletin 🕶️ Saturday = festive attire. Translation: bright colors encouraged, jeans on probation, dancing shoes mandatory.
Playful reminder3 segments · UCS-2Personalize
Text plus paper
💌 Texts that ride along with the mail
The moments that still deserve paper don't ban texting - they just demote it to the supporting role. These texts make the mail work better without trying to replace it.
Text 10 · 8 months out
Hi {HouseholdName}! Something from us is on its way to your mailbox this week - keep an eye out. We can't wait to celebrate with you.
Mailbox heads-up1 segment · GSM-7Personalize
Text 11 · 3 months out
Quick check from Rosa & Ben - invitations went out last week. If yours hasn't arrived by Friday, reply here and we'll make it right.
Did-it-arrive check1 segment · GSM-7Personalize
Text 12 · 1 week after
Thank you for celebrating with us, {GuestFirstName}! Photos are up at {Link:photo-album} - and a proper note from us is in the mail.
Thank-you bridge1 segment · GSM-7Personalize
The real rules
Texting etiquette is situational, not absolute
Nobody's grandmother wrote a rule about SMS. What actually governs texting wedding guests is who your guests are and how formal the moment is - which is why every rule below bends.
1
Read your guest list, not a rulebook
Etiquette here is generational and specific to your people. Guests in their twenties through forties expect texts; plenty of older guests text their families daily; a few don't text at all. The same message can be perfect for one list and wrong for another - the list decides, not a universal rule.
2
The more formal the moment, the older the channel
Logistics stay a text no matter how formal the wedding. Milestone moments - the invitation, a postponement, the thank-you - climb the ladder toward paper and phone as formality rises. That single distinction resolves almost every case in the table above.
3
Tell guests the texts are coming
One line on your website or details card - 'we'll text updates from this number' - converts texting from presumptuous to expected. It's the strongest single etiquette move available, and it costs a sentence.
4
Split the tier when you're torn
You don't need one channel for all 140 guests. The handful of most formal guests can get paper plus a text, or a phone call, while everyone else gets the text. Guests don't compare notes - they only notice what arrived for them.
5
A text is consideration, not laziness
For time-sensitive information, the text is the considerate channel: it arrives where guests already look, exactly when it matters. Making guests dig through a mailed insert or an email chain for the parking address is the rude option.
Where it actually goes wrong
The four ways a wedding text becomes rude
Guests almost never mind being texted. They mind these - and every one of them is avoidable with ten seconds of forethought.
✕
Texting formal-tier guests what deserved a card
The classic fail is a milestone by mass text: grandparents learning the wedding moved via the same blast as your college roommates. Logistics can go to everyone at once; milestones climb the channel ladder for your inner circle - call or card first, text after.
✕
Texting at 7am
Excitement is not an excuse to beat a guest's alarm. Keep sends between 9am and 9pm in the guest's own time zone - and use a scheduled send, so the text you drafted at midnight goes out at ten the next morning.
✕
Cold-texting from a number guests don't know
Most guests don't have your number saved, and an unsigned 'Big news! Save our date!' from an unknown number gets deleted as spam - and quietly resented. Identify yourselves in the first text, every time: 'Hi, it's Elena & Jack.'
✕
Burying the ask in pleasantries
Three sentences of warm-up before 'please book by May 1' means the ask gets skimmed past on a lock screen. The polite text is the clear one: put the ask where it can be seen - first line - and wrap the warmth around it.
Moment by moment
What to text, what to mail, when to call
The whole etiquette question in one table. 'Text it' means a text alone is fully polite; 'text + card' means the text supports paper; 'mail only' and 'call first' mark the moments where a text alone still reads as thin.
| Moment | Channel | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Save the date | Text it | Texting a save-the-date is mainstream now - it reaches everyone and nothing gets lost in the mail. Couples with formal or older-skewing lists often send a card too, as a preference rather than an obligation. |
| Invitation | Text + card | Casual weddings text the invitation outright and nobody blinks; at formal weddings the paper invitation still carries the occasion while the text carries the links. When in doubt, send both - the honest breakdown is in the FAQ below. |
| RSVP nudge | Text it | The kindest possible nudge: one line and the reply link, no guilt. Chasing by mail reads as a formal summons; a text reads as a favor. |
| Dress code reminder, 48 hours out | Text it | State the code on the invitation's details card; remind by text two days out, when guests are actually deciding what to pack. |
| Day-of logistics | Text it | Parking, doors, shuttle times - this is the moment guests gave you their number for. Paper physically cannot do this job. |
| Venue or weather change | Text it | Speed outranks formality the moment plans move; a mailed correction arrives after the wedding. Call anyone already travelling. |
| Postponement | Call first | Parents, wedding party and closest friends hear it in your voice first. Then a text reaches everyone quickly, and a card makes the new date official. |
| Thank-you note | Mail only | The one moment texting can't cover. Text the photo album, text your goodbyes - but the thank-you for a gift is still handwritten and mailed. |
Try it
Your plan, with the channel call on every send
Enter your wedding date and the planner drafts each send with its channel label attached - text, or text + card where paper follows. The mail-only and call-first moments (the thank-you note, a postponement) are deliberately absent: they belong in the table above, not in a texting schedule.
Text, card, or call?Every moment, labeled by channel
SEND 01Save the date8 months out
To: All guestsText it
Hi {GuestFirstName}! we here - we're getting married on the big day in town. Save the date; your invitation will follow soon.
1 segment · GSM-7
SEND 02The details drop4 months out
To: All guestsText it
Hi {GuestFirstName} - our wedding website is up! Schedule, hotel block, and everything for the big day lives here: {Link:wedding-website}
1 segment · GSM-7
SEND 03The RSVP nudge6 weeks out
To: Guests yet to replyText it
Hi {GuestFirstName} - we're finalizing numbers for the big day and would love to know if {PartyMembers} can make it. RSVP here: {{rsvpLink}}
1 segment · GSM-7
SEND 04Week-of logistics1 week out
To: Confirmed guestsText it
Hi {GuestFirstName} - one week to go! Parking, timing and the forecast for the big day are all here: {Link:week-of-details}
1 segment · GSM-7
SEND 05Day-before reminderDay before
To: Confirmed guestsText it
Hi {GuestFirstName} - tomorrow's the day! Ceremony at the venue: doors from 3:30pm, and we begin at 4pm sharp. Sleep well!
1 segment · GSM-7
SEND 06Morning-of noteWedding morning
To: Confirmed guestsText it
It's today, {GuestFirstName}! One last note: the venue, doors 3:30pm. Directions and parking: {Link:directions}. See you soon!
1 segment · GSM-7
SEND 07The photo share1 week after
To: All guestsText it
Hi {GuestFirstName} - thank you for celebrating with us! The first photos are up, and we'd love yours too: {Link:photo-album}
1 segment · GSM-7
Send this plan automatically →Text My Wedding schedules every send and resolves the tokens per guest.
Private by design: this planner runs entirely on this page — nothing you enter leaves your browser. Your names, date and venue only fill in the preview above, and they're gone when you close the tab.
Keep exploring
More on texting your guests
Wedding guest text plannerYour dated send plan, free, with live segment counts→Delivery, opt-in & opt-outWill it land, will it cost them, can they leave→Wedding weekend textsWhich guests to text about which event, and when→Wedding announcement textsTelling everyone who wasn't there that you're married→Wedding text message templatesTwenty to copy, by moment and tone→Telling guests the venue changedOne-segment texts for a last-minute re-route→
Good to know
Wedding text etiquette questions
Is it OK to text a wedding invitation?
Honestly: yes, for many weddings. A texted invitation is normal for casual weddings, second receptions and short timelines, and plenty of couples mail the paper invitation and text the links. It's the one moment where formality still genuinely divides guest lists, which is why this page doesn't template it. For the full answer and wording, see our guide to sending wedding invitations by text - and if you'd rather not do the sending yourself, Text My Wedding delivers text invitations for you.
Is it rude to text older wedding guests?
Usually no - most grandparents text with their families every day, and a clear, signed text is easier for many older guests than navigating a wedding website. The real risk is delivery, not offense: some older guests are on landlines or won't open links. For those few, pair the text with a phone call - and our delivery and opt-out page covers the landline question properly.
Do guests have to agree to receive wedding texts?
Socially, no - texting people you know about your own wedding is ordinary correspondence, and a heads-up line on your website or details card ('we'll text updates from this number') settles it completely. The formal side - opt-in, STOP replies, whether texts cost guests money - is a delivery question rather than a politeness one, and it's answered on our delivery and opt-out page.
Can we thank guests by text instead of a card?
A text is a lovely bridge - photos are up, safe travels, we loved seeing you - but the thank-you for a gift is the strongest surviving paper convention across every generation. Send the warm text the week after the wedding, then mail the handwritten note within three months. Our thank-you note wording guide covers what the notes themselves should say.
What time of day is it OK to text guests?
Between 9am and 9pm in the guest's own time zone - a slightly stricter version of the quiet-hours window commercial senders are held to. Wedding excitement peaks at midnight; that's what scheduled sends are for. If your guests span time zones, schedule per zone or aim for the middle of everyone's day.
Is a group text to all our guests rude?
The problem is less rudeness than mechanics: a group thread shows every guest each other's numbers, and every 'Congrats!!' reply lands on all of them - that's what guests actually resent. Text individually, or use a tool that sends each guest their own thread - which is exactly how Text My Wedding sends, with no reply-all possible.
You have the plan.
Now let it send itself.
Text My Wedding schedules every send on its date, resolves the merge tokens per guest, and collects the replies — so seven or eight dated texts never have to leave your notes app by hand.