Adults only We adore your children, and we have chosen an adults-only evening so every parent in the room gets a night off. Sitter recommendations are on our website.
The message has to land in three places — the envelope, the details card, and the conversation that follows. Twelve versions, from warm to firm, plus where each one belongs.
This is where an adults-only note belongs — never on the invitation itself, where a restriction sits awkwardly beside the request to attend.
Adults only We adore your children, and we have chosen an adults-only evening so every parent in the room gets a night off. Sitter recommendations are on our website.
An adults-only celebration Our venue and our budget both asked us to keep the guest list small, so we have made the day adults only. We hope it gives you an evening out.
Adults only, with love. We hope you'll take the excuse for a night off and a late dance.
Children at the ceremony, adults at the dinner. Little ones are warmly welcome for the 4 o'clock ceremony; the evening is for grown-ups.
While we love your little ones, this is an adults-only occasion. A sitter will be available at the Bellwether Hotel from 3pm — details and booking at whitfieldashby.wedding/childcare
Adults only, with two exceptions: the two smallest members of our wedding party, who have been practising for months.
The generator writes the invitation and its text version; the adults-only line goes on your details card, using the wording above.
Addressing does most of the work quietly, and a text handles the parents who ask anyway. These are the lines to have ready before the first message arrives.
Outer envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Ashby Inner envelope: Thomas and Eleanor (Naming only the adults is the traditional signal that children are not included.)
Reply card: We have reserved 2 seats in your honour. (Pre-filling the number removes the blank line where an extra name gets added.)
Hi! We've saved two seats for you and Tom. We've made the wedding adults-only so parents can have a proper night off — we hope that works for you both.
We'd love to have made room for the children, but our venue caps us at 90 and we're already at 88. It's adults only for everyone, with no exceptions — we hope you understand.
There's a sitter at the Bellwether from 3pm if that helps — a few families are sharing her. Reply here and we'll put you in touch.
Just so nobody is caught out on the day: the wedding is adults only. Sitter details are at whitfieldashby.wedding/childcare — shout if you'd like a hand arranging one.
Adults-only is communicated in layers, and the layer most couples skip is the one that works best.
Traditionally, whoever is named on the envelope is invited — nobody else. Addressing to “Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Ashby” rather than “The Ashby Family” signals the policy before anyone reads a card.
Never the invitation itself. A restriction on the invitation sits directly beside the request to attend, which is what makes it read as cold rather than clear.
“We have reserved 2 seats in your honour” is the single most effective line in this whole page. A blank number line is an invitation to add a child's name.
Venue capacity, budget, or wanting parents to have a night off. One sentence lands as considerate; a paragraph reads as a defence, and invites negotiation.
A shared sitter, a name and number, a room recommendation. Parents flying in with a toddler face a real problem, and a solution turns a no into a plan.
The moment there is one exception, every parent who asks expects to be the second. If there are exceptions — a flower girl, a nursing infant — name them yourselves before anyone has to ask.
Three phrasings that reliably produce a difficult message back.
It is the first thing a guest reads, and it frames the whole card as a list of rules. Move it to the details card and phrase it as a choice you made, not a restriction on them.
Age cut-offs invite negotiation — every parent's child is the exception, and you will spend weeks adjudicating. Adults only, applied to everyone, ends the conversation.
Guests who assume their children are invited will RSVP for them, and un-inviting a child after a yes is far harder than saying it plainly at the start.
Generate the invitation and its text version here, then add the adults-only line to your details card from the examples above.
A phone number, a website, or “reply to this text.”
Put it on the details card rather than the invitation, name the choice, and give one reason: “We adore your children, and we have chosen an adults-only evening so every parent in the room gets a night off.” Reinforce it by addressing envelopes to the adults only and pre-filling the seat count on the reply card.
No. A restriction placed beside the request to attend reads as a rule rather than a warm invitation. The details card, the reply card's seat count, and the envelope addressing carry it far better — and together they leave very little room for confusion.
Reply quickly, warmly, and in the same terms for everyone: you've saved two seats, the wedding is adults only for all guests, and here is the sitter if it helps. The speed matters — the longer a family assumes their children are coming, the harder the conversation becomes.
You can, if the rule is clear and impersonal — immediate family only, or wedding-party children only. Age cut-offs are the version that causes arguments, because every parent believes their child is the exception. Whatever you choose, name the exceptions yourself before guests ask.
State both halves plainly: “Little ones are warmly welcome for the 4 o'clock ceremony; the evening is for grown-ups.” Add the sitter arrangement for the gap, because parents will otherwise have nowhere to be between the two.
A text is the right place for the follow-up, not the announcement. Print it on the details card, then use a text to answer questions, share sitter details, and remind everyone the week before — which is exactly the kind of message Text My Wedding sends for you.
Text My Wedding sends your invitation by text, collects RSVPs and addresses automatically, and chases the stragglers for you. Try it free.