Example 01
Invited: 132 people Yes: 96 · No: 36 · No reply: 0 No-show allowance at 3% of 96: 2.88, call it 3 people Number submitted to the caterer: 96 You pay for 96 plates whether 96 or 93 walk through the door.
Everyone repliedPersonalize
Wedding RSVPs
When your final wedding headcount is due
Most caterers and venues want the final headcount 7 to 14 days before the wedding, and the exact date is written into your contract rather than set by etiquette — so go and read the clause before you plan a single thing around it. The number you send on that date is your confirmed yes count: not how many you invited, and not a guess at who will really turn up. If you adjust it at all you adjust it down by 3 to 5 percent, never up, and only after your caterer has told you what they do about guests who arrive above the guarantee.
Where are you?
How close are you to the caterer's date?
Every decision on this page is measured from the vendor's date, not from your reply-by date. Find the row that matches today.
1
The caterer's date is more than three weeks away
Do not submit anything yet — chase instead. Numbers submitted early are numbers you will have to correct twice. Use the runway to close out silent households, and put your own reconcile cutoff in the calendar for three days before the caterer's date so the decision is already made when it arrives.
2
You are inside two weeks and a handful are still silent
Give the silent households a dated final ask, then stop. Name the caterer's date in the message — a deadline someone else imposed is much easier for a guest to hear than one you chose. Whatever has not answered by your own cutoff goes down as a no, and you submit without them.
3
Your reconcile cutoff is today
Count silent as no, total the confirmed yeses, submit that. Add your yeses, check they reconcile against invited minus declined minus silent, and send the number with the entrée split attached. Do not shave no-shows off it unless the caterer has told you in writing that they plate over the guarantee.
4
You have submitted and a yes arrives
Call the caterer before you answer the guest. Ask three things: is an addition still possible, what does it cost, and does the guarantee move. Many kitchens will take one or two inside 72 hours; almost none will take ten. Only once you have the answer do you tell the guest yes or no — and apply the same rule to the next one.
5
You have submitted and somebody cancels
You still pay — redirect the meals rather than argue. The guarantee is a floor, so the bill does not come down. Ask whether the released plates can feed your vendors or be boxed, and fix the things that are still open: place cards, favors, and the seating chart.
6
Your confirmed count is below the venue minimum
Submit the true number and spend the gap deliberately. Below the minimum, the headcount you send does not change the bill at all. Trimming it saves nothing, so submit accurately and ask what the shortfall can be converted into — an extra bar hour, a late-night snack, an upgraded entrée.
Start here
🧮 RSVP count to number submitted
Four ordinary lists, each reconciled and turned into the one number the caterer gets. Copy the shape and swap your own figures in — the arithmetic is the point, not the names.
Example 02
Invited: 140 people across 58 households Yes: 88 · No: 41 · No reply: 4 households = 11 people Silent households counted as no on my cutoff: 11 Check: 88 + 41 + 11 = 140, so every seat is accounted for Number submitted to the caterer: 88
Four households silentPersonalize
Example 03
Confirmed guests: 74 Beef: 31 Chicken: 28 Vegetarian: 15 31 + 28 + 15 = 74 Number submitted: 74, with that split attached. A plated dinner needs both the total and the breakdown, and if the three entrées do not add up to the total the kitchen will call you to ask which one is wrong.
Plated dinner, entrée splitPersonalize
Example 04
Confirmed guests: 111 · Adults: 102 · Children on the kids' menu: 9 Vendor meals: 6 (two photographers, three musicians, one planner) Sent to the caterer: 102 adult meals + 9 children's meals + 6 vendor meals = 117 plates Guaranteed guest count on the contract: 111 Vendor meals are usually charged at a different rate and sit outside the guest guarantee. Ask which line they go on before you assume either way.
Adults, children, vendor mealsPersonalize
The counting is only hard because the list is in four places
Reply cards in a drawer, texts in one thread, a cousin's answer relayed through your mother, and a spreadsheet you retype every Sunday — that is why reconciling a headcount takes an evening. Text My Wedding collects every reply in one place and keeps the running total for you.
The 3-5% band
📉 Padding for no-shows, and only ever downwards
A few confirmed guests will not arrive — illness, weather, a flight that does not board. The direction rule is absolute: if you adjust the guarantee you adjust it down, never up. Whether you adjust at all comes down to one question you ask your caterer.
Example 05
Confirmed yes: 96 No-show allowance at 3%: 2.88, call it 3 Number submitted: 96 Not 93. Cutting three plates only saves money if exactly those three fail to appear — and if they do appear, the kitchen prepared 93 and three of your guests are looking at an empty place setting. The default is the confirmed count.
The default: no paddingPersonalize
Example 06
Confirmed yes: 118 Caterer confirmed by email: they plate 5% over the guarantee at no charge. Pad down 4%: 118 × 4% = 4.72, call it 5 118 − 5 = 113 guaranteed Their overage on 113: 5% = 5.65, call it 6 plates 113 + 6 = 119, which still covers all 118 if nobody drops out Number submitted: 113. Five covers saved if the no-shows happen, and a full room if they do not.
Padding down with permissionPersonalize
Example 07
Guest minimum written into the venue contract: 100 Confirmed yes: 96 Submit 96 → billed at 100 Submit 93 → billed at 100 Number submitted: 96. Below the minimum the headcount changes nothing, so send the true one and ask what the four-guest gap can buy instead — an extra hour of bar, or a late-night snack.
Below the venue minimumPersonalize
Example 08
Confirmed yes: 88 Tempted to submit: 95, in case a few late yeses land 7 plates × $74 a head = $518 for chairs nobody sits in And you cannot claw it back: the guarantee is a floor, not an estimate. Number submitted: 88. If a late yes arrives you call the caterer and add one, which is a phone call. Padding up is a purchase.
Why you never pad upPersonalize
Same wedding, six numbers
🚚 What each vendor actually needs, and when
The caterer's number is not the only count with a due date, and it is not the same count. These three worksheets take one wedding of 96 and derive every other figure from it.
Example 09
Confirmed guests: 96 · Wedding: Saturday, June 14 Caterer — due June 4 (10 days out): 96 guest meals + 6 vendor meals Venue floor plan and chairs — due May 31 (14 days out): 96 seats, 12 tables of 8 Linen and glassware rental — due June 7 (7 days out): 12 dinner linens, 96 place settings Shuttles — due June 7: 41 guests staying at the hotel ÷ 14 seats a run = 3 runs One wedding. Four numbers, four dates, four contracts.
The vendor countdownPersonalize
Example 10
Confirmed guests: 96 (88 adults, 8 children) Caterer's guarantee: 96 Vendor meals, billed separately: 6 Chairs at dinner: 96 Place cards: 96 Menus printed: 102 — 96 plus 6 spares for smudges and last-minute swaps Favours: 96 Cake servings: 96, because children eat cake Welcome bags: 34 — one per hotel room, not one per guest Only the first line is the headcount. The rest are counts derived from it, and three of them are cheaper to over-order than to re-order.
Counts that are not the headcountPersonalize
Example 11
Rentals closed on June 7 at 96 place settings. The Farrells cancelled on June 9: −3. Still open — caterer's count is due June 11: 96 → 93 Closed — rentals: still 96, so three settings you have already paid for Still open — venue chart: one table drops from 8 to 5, so 11 × 8 + 5 = 93 Number submitted to the caterer on June 11: 93. Work the list in deadline order and you only ever eat the cost on the vendors who have already closed.
The count moves mid-countdownPersonalize
After the count is in
📞 When the number moves after you have sent it
Something always moves in the last two weeks. What matters is knowing which numbers are still yours to change, who to call, and what the change actually costs before you promise anybody anything.
Example 12
Submitted on June 4: 96 Yes from the Oseis on June 6: +2 Rang Marcus at the caterer before replying to them: · Additions possible up to 72 hours out — yes · Charge — $74 a head, no late fee · Guarantee stays 96, the invoice goes to 98 Told the Oseis yes. Had the answer been no, the message declining them was already written and would have gone out the same afternoon.
A late yes, two days afterPersonalize
Example 13
Submitted on June 4: 96 The Vaskos cancel on June 11: −4 You still pay for 96. A guarantee does not come down. What is still worth changing: · 4 released meals redirected to the band and the driver, so the separate vendor-meal line drops from 6 to 2 · Place cards, favors and one table pulled from 8 down to 4 Plates the kitchen prepares: 96. Guests seated: 92. Nobody in the room can tell.
A cancellation after the countPersonalize
Example 14
FINAL COUNT — Ademola / Hale wedding, Saturday, June 14 Sent June 4 by Priya, 555-0142 Guaranteed guests: 96 · Adults: 88 · Children's menu: 8 Entrées (adults): beef 39 · chicken 34 · vegan 15 = 88 Children's menu: 8 88 + 8 = 96 Vendor meals, billed separately: 6 Allergies: 1 severe nut (chicken, table 4), 2 gluten-free (beef), 1 dairy-free (vegan) Seating: 12 tables of 8 Any change after today goes to Marcus by phone on 555-0119, not by email.
The sheet you email the catererPersonalize
Whose date is it?
Six numbers, and only two of them are yours
Conflating the reply-by date you chose with the vendor's final-count date imposed on you is the single most common error in wedding headcount advice, and it is expensive in both directions. Here is who owns each date and each number, and what actually happens when one slips.
1
The reply-by date printed on your card
You do · usually three to four weeks before the wedding. Nothing happens, because nobody is enforcing it. It exists purely to buy you chasing time before the count is due, which is why it sits well ahead of the caterer's date and why guests treat it as soft.
2
Your own reconcile cutoff
You do, and you should write it in the calendar · about three days before the caterer's date. You end up totalling reply cards at midnight the night before the count is due, which is exactly when miscounts happen. Set it early so the decision to write silent households off is already made when the day arrives.
3
The caterer's final count
Your catering contract, not you and not etiquette · typically seven to fourteen days before the wedding, occasionally twenty-one. This is the real deadline and it is genuinely hard. Miss it and you are billed on the last number you gave, or on the venue's minimum, whichever is higher. Read the clause before you build any other date on this list.
4
The venue's guest minimum
The contract you signed months ago at booking · it was fixed on the day you signed and cannot move now. You pay it whether sixty or a hundred people come. It is not a headcount decision at all, but it silently overrides one: below the minimum, nothing you submit changes the bill.
5
The number you actually submit
You do, on the caterer's date · the day the final count is due. Too high and you buy plates for chairs nobody sits in, with no refund. Too low and a guest who is standing in the room has no dinner. Submit your confirmed yes count, and pad down by 3 to 5 percent only if the caterer has told you what they do about arrivals above the guarantee.
6
How many people actually turn up
Nobody — this one is weather, flu and traffic · the day itself. There is nothing to miss, which is the whole point. You cannot control it, you have already paid for it, and that is precisely why the adjustment only ever goes downwards and only ever within a few percent.
This page is about the vendor's date. If households are still silent as it approaches, the day-by-day chase lives in what to do when guests haven't RSVP'd, the arithmetic for filling seats that came back as declines is in timing a B-list second wave, and once the number is locked it is the input to the wedding alcohol calculator. To stop the chase happening at all, set up automatic RSVP reminders, print a reply-by date that leaves you real buffer with RSVP card wording, and put a QR code straight to your RSVP page on the card so replies land in seconds rather than in the mail.
The countdown
Who needs a number, and how far out
Typical lead times, so you know which contracts to go and read first. Every one of these is negotiable at booking and fixed afterwards — the range is a prompt to check, never a substitute for the clause.
1
Caterer or venue kitchen — 7 to 14 days
The one that costs money. It is a guaranteed minimum, so it goes up more easily than it comes down, and a few venues want it as much as three weeks out. Find the exact number of days in the contract and count back from your wedding date today.
2
Venue floor plan and chairs — 10 to 14 days
Often earlier than the food count, because the room has to be drawn before it can be set. Tables of eight versus ten changes the chair count and the linen order, so settle the table size before you send seats.
3
Rentals — 7 to 10 days
Linens, glassware, extra chairs, heaters. Rental stock is allocated to other weddings the same weekend, so this deadline is real even though the penalty is smaller. Over-order linens by one table; under-ordering is the mistake you notice at 4pm on the day.
4
Transport and shuttles — about 7 days
Count guests at each hotel, not total guests, and divide by the vehicle's seats rather than by the party size. Round the number of runs up: a half-full second shuttle is cheaper than thirty people in the car park.
5
Cake and desserts — around 14 days
Sized on guests rather than on dinners, because children who ate from the kids' menu still eat cake. If your caterer plates dessert as part of the meal, this number is the same as the food guarantee — ask, rather than ordering twice.
6
Stationery, place cards and favors — 5 to 10 days
The deadline here is your own printing and assembly time, not a vendor's. These are the counts you can still change latest, which is why late cancellations should be absorbed here rather than argued about with the kitchen.
Avoid these
What goes wrong with a final count
None of these are etiquette failures. They are the specific errors that cost couples money or leave a guest without a dinner.
✕
Submitting the invitation count instead of the confirmed count
You invited 140 and 88 said yes: the caterer gets 88. It sounds obvious written down, and it is still the most expensive slip in the process, because every unconfirmed guest you include is a plate you buy outright.
✕
Treating the reply-by date as the deadline that matters
The reply-by date is a self-imposed staging post with no consequences. The caterer's date has a contract behind it. Plan the whole last month backwards from the vendor's date and the reply-by date takes care of itself.
✕
Padding up for guests who might still say yes
A guarantee is a floor. Ten speculative plates at your contracted rate is a real invoice for an imaginary problem, and adding one guest later is usually a phone call. Adjust downwards or not at all.
✕
Sending a total with no entrée split
For a plated dinner the kitchen needs beef, chicken and vegetarian to add up to the total, plus children's meals and allergies. A bare number buys you a phone call at the worst possible moment and a rushed guess about dietary needs.
✕
Forgetting the vendors have to eat
Photographers, the band, the planner and the drivers usually need feeding, often at a different rate and on a different line. Count them, ask which line they belong on, and do not discover the answer on the final invoice.
✕
Emailing a change and assuming it landed
Inside the last two weeks, a change that is not acknowledged has not happened. Get a name and a phone number at the point you submit, call anything that moves afterwards, and follow the call with one short email so there is a record.
Free, and it runs in your browser
Work out your final headcount and its date
Put in your wedding date, the lead time from your catering contract and how many guests have said yes. It gives you the caterer's date, your own cutoff three days before it, the number to submit and the no-show gap you are paying for anyway — then exports the lot as a CSV you can send on.
Wedding RSVP deadline calculatorFree · no sign-up · runs entirely in your browser
Date the caterer's final count, set your own cutoff a few days earlier, and see what no-shows cost you.
Leave it blank and every answer below still works — you just get “four weeks before the wedding” instead of a printed date.
The common case: a local core plus a scattering of guests who need a flight or a hotel.
Read it off your catering contract — 7 to 14 days is typical.
Two to four percent covers illness and last-minute travel.
Private by design: every date and number here is worked out in your browser, and the dates and counts you enter never leave this page. We count anonymous usage — which mode people pick, nothing they type. Close the tab and it's gone, so copy your dates somewhere safe.
Your caterer's number
84 to the caterer
Two dates and one number — and the number is not the one you negotiate.
- Caterer's final count dueAdd your wedding date10 days before the wedding
Read the number off your contract rather than assuming — it ranges from about 7 to 14 days, and a few venues want 21.
- Your own cutoffAdd your wedding date3 days before the caterer's date
Give yourself a buffer to reconcile the list, chase the last household, and finish the seating chart.
- Guests confirmed yes84of 120 invited
This is the number you count, before anybody adjusts it.
- Expected no-shows3about 3% of confirmed guests
Illness, weather, and last-minute work travel. It is small but it is never zero.
- Number to submit84your confirmed yes count
Do not shave the no-shows off. Most contracts bill the guaranteed number or the number who attend, whichever is higher, so cutting it saves nothing and risks a short kitchen.
- Meals you pay for regardless3the no-show gap
Ask your caterer what happens to them — some will box them, some will feed your vendors with them.
Decline, reply, and no-show rates here are planning estimates built from the ranges wedding vendors publish — useful for sizing a list, not a survey result.
Want the replies to chase themselves?Text My Wedding texts the invitation, collects the RSVPs, and nudges the households that go quiet — so the list is done before your caterer asks.
See the app →✓
Keep exploring
More on collecting wedding RSVPs
How to collect wedding RSVPsFour ways to gather replies, compared→Wedding B-list invitationsTiming a second wave so nobody can tell→Plus-one rulesWho gets one, and fixing a reply that added guests→Online vs paper RSVPsFour channels compared on speed and chasing→Wedding RSVP questionsTwenty fields worth collecting, and what each costs→Wedding RSVP deadline calculatorEvery reply-by date, worked out from your wedding day→
Good to know
Questions about the final headcount
When is the final headcount due for a wedding?
Usually 7 to 14 days before the wedding, with some venues asking for 21. The exact figure is in your catering or venue contract rather than dictated by etiquette, so read the clause and count back from your wedding date. Then set your own cutoff three days earlier to leave room for reconciling the list.
When does the caterer need the final guest count?
On the date the contract names, which is typically 7 to 14 days out. That is the guaranteed minimum you will be billed on, so it is the hard deadline in the whole RSVP process — much harder than the reply-by date printed on your invitation, which has no consequences attached to it at all.
Should you pad your wedding headcount up or down?
Down, if at all. Padding up buys plates for chairs nobody sits in and cannot be reversed, because the guarantee is a floor. Padding down by 3 to 5 percent only makes sense once your caterer confirms they prepare over the guarantee at no charge — otherwise submit your confirmed yes count exactly as it stands.
What percentage of wedding guests who RSVP yes don't show up?
Nobody publishes a reliable figure for this, so treat it as a planning allowance rather than a statistic: budgeting for a few percent of confirmed guests covers the usual illness, weather and last-minute work travel. Whatever the number turns out to be, you have already paid for those plates, which is why the allowance never justifies inflating the count.
Can you add a guest after the final headcount is submitted?
Often yes, for one or two, and rarely for ten. Ring the caterer before you answer the guest and ask whether an addition is possible, what it costs and whether the guarantee moves. Many kitchens will take small additions up to 72 hours out, some charge a late fee, and the answer decides what you say to the guest.
What happens if a guest cancels after you have given the final count?
You still pay for the plate — a guarantee does not come down. Ask what happens to the released meals: some caterers will box them, many will use them to feed your photographers and band, which takes those meals off a separate line of the invoice. Then fix the counts that are still open, like place cards, favors and the seating chart.
Do vendor meals count towards your final headcount?
Usually not. Photographers, musicians, planners and drivers are normally quoted at a lower rate on a separate line rather than inside the guest guarantee, but the split varies by contract. Count them, tell the caterer how many there are, and ask explicitly which line they sit on before you sign off the number.
You picked the date.
Let us collect the replies.
Text My Wedding sends the invitation by text, records every RSVP against the right household, and nudges the ones who go quiet — so your caterer gets a number instead of a guess.