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Wedding RSVPs

Online wedding RSVPs vs paper reply cards

Collecting RSVPs online — a wedding website form, a QR code, or a text — lets you set a reply-by date three to four weeks before the wedding, where printed reply cards need four to five, because the mail travels twice and the invitations have to go out earlier to pay for it. Text gets the fastest and most complete replies of the four; an online form is the best place to collect meal choices by dish name; paper is the only one that costs a stamp each way, and the only one you can keep in a box afterwards. For most couples the right answer is not one channel — it is one online channel, plus printed reply cards for the handful of households you already know will not use it.

Work out my RSVP dates →Browse the setups
Which channel?

Pick the channel from your guest list, not your Pinterest board

There is no channel that is correct for everyone, and the couples who get burned are the ones who chose before they looked at who is actually on the list. Find your row.

1

You have current mobile numbers for most of your households

Ask by text, and print the details rather than the reply. A text is read where the phone already is, needs nothing installed and nothing remembered, and the reply is attributable to a household automatically. Reply-by can sit three weeks out. The catch is the numbers themselves — count how many households you genuinely have a mobile for before you build the plan on it, and route the rest to paper.

2

You are already building a wedding website for travel and timings

Put the form on the site, but send the ask on another channel. A website is excellent at collecting the reply and terrible at requesting it — it cannot contact anybody. Host the form there for meal choices and sub-events, then drive traffic to it with a text or a printed QR code. Reply-by four weeks out.

3

A meaningful slice of your list does not use the internet

Printed cards with stamped return envelopes for those households only. Count them, do not estimate them. Sending reply cards to eleven households costs eleven stamps; sending them to all ninety-five costs ninety-five, plus an earlier print deadline for everyone. Their reply-by goes on the card at five weeks out, because the mail makes two trips and neither is under your control.

4

You want the printed suite and you still want a fast reply

A QR code on the invitation, with the link written out underneath. It bridges paper to an online reply without asking anyone to type a URL, it is free to generate, and it rides on paper you are printing anyway. Use a dynamic code you can re-point later — a static one is frozen the moment it goes to press — and always print a second way in beside it for the guests who will not scan.

5

You are inside eight weeks of the wedding and nothing has gone out

Skip the reply envelope entirely — online or text only. Print, mail, sit on a hall table, mail back is four separate delays, and at eight weeks there is no room for them. Send the ask digitally with a reply-by three weeks out and keep the paper for a save-the-date-style announcement if you still want one.

6

The box of handwritten reply cards genuinely matters to you

Buy the keepsake on purpose, and budget the chase. This is a real reason and not a silly one — no other channel produces an object. Just cost it honestly: two stamps per invitation, a mail date two weeks earlier, a reply-by five weeks out, and a hand tally against the guest list before you can even tell who is missing.

Four channels, one at a time

⚖️ One channel, worked end to end

The same wedding — 95 households, Saturday, September 12, caterer's final count due September 2 — collected four different ways. Each setup shows what it costs, what chasing looks like, and the reply-by date the channel forces you into.

Example 01

Paper reply cards only — 95 households, wedding Saturday, September 12 · Invitations mail: July 6, just under 10 weeks out · Reply-by printed on the card: August 8, 5 weeks out · Postage: a stamp on the outer envelope and a stamp on every reply envelope · Return-mail lead time: 3-5 days out, 3-5 days back, plus however long the card sits on a hall table · Chasing: tick cards off the guest list by hand, then text or phone whoever is missing · Caterer's final count: September 2 · Honest cost: the earliest mail date of any channel — and the only one that leaves you a box of handwriting

Paper onlyPersonalize
Example 02

Wedding website form only — 95 households, wedding September 12 · Invitations mail: July 18, 8 weeks out · Printed on the invitation: the address of the site, in a size people can read, and "RSVP by August 15" · Reply-by: August 15, 4 weeks out · Cost: free on most platforms' entry tier; you pay in an account you now maintain · Chasing: the dashboard shows who is missing. It cannot contact them, so the chase still happens by text or phone · Strongest at: meal choice by dish name, dietary notes, and separate yes/no for the welcome drinks · Honest cost: every guest has to get a URL right, and the guests who only use a phone are exactly the ones who will not

Website form onlyPersonalize
Example 03

QR code on the invitation — 95 households, wedding September 12 · Invitations mail: July 18, 8 weeks out · Printed: the code, the same link written out underneath it, and a number to reply on instead · Reply-by: August 15, 4 weeks out · Cost: free to generate, and it rides on paper you are already printing · Use a dynamic code you can re-point after printing. A static code is frozen the moment it goes to press · Chasing: identical to the website — a code speeds up the reply, not the chase · Honest cost: there is no fallback inside a QR code, which is why the written link and the number are on the card

QR cardPersonalize
Example 04

Reply by text — 95 households, wedding September 12 · The ask goes out: July 25, 7 weeks out · What the guest does: replies to the message. Nothing to install, no URL, no account, no password · Reply-by: August 22, 3 weeks out — the only channel where three weeks is genuinely comfortable · Cost: no reply envelope and no stamp on the way back · Chasing: message only the households that have not answered, on the channel they already answered on · Caterer's final count: September 2, with a week of slack still in hand · Honest cost: you need a current mobile number for every household, and a texted reply is not a keepsake

Text onlyPersonalize

Every channel above ends with you typing the guest list in by hand

Cards, forms and codes all collect a reply — none of them start the conversation, and none of them chase. Text My Wedding sends one private RSVP link per household, watches the answers land, and messages only the households that have gone quiet.

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Two channels together

🔗 Pairings that cover each other's gap

Almost every real wedding ends up on two channels. The pairing is only worth it if both routes land in one list — two half-lists in two places is worse than either channel alone.

Example 05

Reply card AND an online form, same envelope — 95 households · Printed on the card: "Reply by August 15 — mail this card, or reply online at the address on the back" · Reply-by: August 15, 4 weeks out. The online route is what buys you four weeks instead of five · Cost: full printing and both stamps. You cannot un-send a reply envelope once it is in the suite · Chasing: two lists to merge — a pile of cards and a dashboard — so tally them into one place every Sunday · Watch for: the same household replying both ways. Take the later answer and note that you did

Card plus formPersonalize
Example 06

QR code with a texted fallback — 95 households · Printed: the QR code, the link written out, and "or just text us on 555-0148" · Reply-by: August 15, 4 weeks out · Cost: nothing beyond the ink, because both routes ride on paper you are printing anyway · Chasing: the households who texted gave you a number, so they are the easy ones. The scanners are anonymous until they submit · Honest cost: a scanned reply and a texted reply are not in the same place unless you deliberately put them there

QR plus textPersonalize
Example 07

Website for the details, text for the actual ask — 95 households · The site holds travel, timings, accommodation and the registry. It does not hold the RSVP · The ask goes out by text on July 25, with the reply-by in the first line and the site linked at the end · Reply-by: August 22, 3 weeks out · Cost: no reply envelope; the site you were building regardless · Chasing: one text to the silent households on August 25, a phone call to whoever is left on August 29 · Why it works: guests read a website when they need something from it, and answer a text when it arrives

Site plus textPersonalize
Example 08

Paper for eleven households, text for the other eighty-four · Stamped reply envelopes go only to the households you know will not reply online. Count them by name — do not estimate · Everyone else gets the ask by text · Two reply-by dates: August 8 on the printed cards (5 weeks out), August 22 by text (3 weeks out) · Cost: eleven reply envelopes instead of ninety-five, and no earlier print deadline for the whole list · Chasing: the eleven get a phone call on August 12. The rest get one text on August 25 · Both lists close on August 29, four days before the caterer's count

Split listPersonalize
Matched to the guest list

👥 Four lists, four different answers

The channel that is obviously right for a 38-household local wedding is obviously wrong for a destination one. These four setups start from who is on the list and work back to the reply-by date.

Example 09

A third of the households are over 70 — 60 households · Default channel: printed reply cards with stamped return envelopes · Reply-by: August 8, 5 weeks out, because the mail is making two trips and neither is yours to hurry · Second route printed on the card: "or text either of us on 555-0148" · Chasing: phone, not text. Block out one evening and work down the list · Cost: two stamps per invitation and a print deadline two weeks earlier than the online setups · Do not: assume nobody in this group texts. Ask once, then believe the answer you get

Older guest listPersonalize
Example 10

Destination wedding — 55 households, wedding September 12 · Guests are booking flights and rooms, so the reply-by moves out to August 1, 6 weeks · Channel: online form, because half the list is in another country and international reply mail is slow in both directions · The printed invitation still carries the written link and a number to text · Chasing: text on August 8, call the stragglers on August 15, close the list on August 22 · Cost: nothing on the reply side — international reply postage is precisely the thing you have avoided

Destination listPersonalize
Example 11

140 households on a tight stationery budget · No reply cards at all. The reply envelope and its stamp is the line item you can delete without a single guest noticing · The invitation carries a QR code with the link written out underneath · Reply-by: August 15, 4 weeks out · Chasing: 140 households is far too many to phone. One text to the silent ones on August 18, a second on August 25 · Cost: printing only, and one fewer envelope in every single suite · Honest cost: at this size you will not notice a household is missing until you go looking, so put a weekly check in the calendar

Large list, low budgetPersonalize
Example 12

38 households, wedding in 11 weeks, everyone already in your phone · Channel: text, one message per household — never the group chat, which invites everyone to wait for somebody else to answer · Reply-by: August 22, 3 weeks out · Meal choice in the same message: two options by name, "reply A or B" · Cost: nothing · Chasing: at this size chasing is a five-minute job, which is exactly why the reply-by can sit late · Honest cost: no paper trail at all. Export or write the answers down somewhere that is not one phone

Small local listPersonalize
The free routes

🆓 What "free online RSVP" actually gets you

Free wedding websites, free RSVP sites and free form tools all collect replies perfectly well. What differs is what happens at the edges — the guest cap, the export, and whether you can send a reminder from inside the thing. Check those three before you type ninety-five households into anything.

Example 13

Free wedding-website RSVP — what an entry tier usually covers · Free: the site itself, a reply form, a guest-list view, and email notifications when someone answers · Usually paid or capped: a custom domain, ad-free pages, guest limits, and sometimes exporting your own list · What it costs you regardless: an account, a URL your guests have to get right, and a dashboard somebody has to check · Reply-by it supports: 4 weeks out · Before you commit: confirm you can export to CSV. Your caterer wants a file, not a login

Free wedding websitePersonalize
Example 14

Free general form tool — the spreadsheet route · Free: unlimited responses, any fields you want, and answers landing in a spreadsheet you own outright · Cost: the link is long and looks nothing like your invitation, so shorten it before it goes to print · Reply-by: 4 weeks out · Chasing: the sheet shows who replied. Matching that against your guest list is a manual join, every single time you look · Best for: couples who are comfortable in a spreadsheet and want the caterer's export for nothing

Free form toolPersonalize
Example 15

Free QR route — no platform involved at all · Generate a dynamic QR code pointing at whichever form you chose, and print it on the invitation · Free: the code, and the reprint you avoid later, because a dynamic code can be re-pointed after it is printed · Reply-by: 4 weeks out · Print beside it, always: the link written out and a number to text instead · Honest cost: a code on its own converts nobody who will not scan, and you cannot tell who tried and gave up

Free QR routePersonalize
Example 16

Free RSVP sites — the three caps worth checking first · Guest cap: free tiers commonly stop at a fixed number of guests, and a wedding list is exactly the size that crosses it · Export: check you can download the list as a CSV before you enter ninety-five households by hand · Messaging: sending reminders from inside the platform is usually the paid feature, so assume you are chasing manually · Reply-by: 4 weeks out either way — a paywall changes the price, never the date · Rule of thumb: if the free tier cannot export, it is a demo, not a tool

Free RSVP sitesPersonalize
Whose date is it?

The channel sets three of these dates. You only set one.

The reason paper and online produce different reply-by dates is not etiquette — it is that a printed card drags two postal journeys and a print deadline along behind it. Here is which date belongs to whom.

1

The date the invitations physically go out

The channel does, not you · 8-10 weeks before for a printed suite, 6-8 weeks for a digital ask. Everything downstream compresses. Miss the print-and-mail date on a paper setup and you cannot recover it by moving the reply-by later, because the caterer's date does not move with you.

2

Return-mail lead time

The postal service, and the guest's hall table · 3-5 days each way, plus however long the card sits unopened. This is the invisible cost of paper and the whole reason its reply-by sits a week earlier than an online one. It is not negotiable, it cannot be chased, and it applies to every single card in both directions.

3

The reply-by date on the card or the form

You do — inside the window the channel allows · 3 weeks out by text, 4 by form or QR code, 5 on paper, 6 for destination. Nothing happens, which is exactly why guests treat it as soft. It is a date you chose to give yourself chasing time, so choose one that leaves at least ten days before the caterer's count.

4

Your caterer's final count

Your catering contract, not you and not the channel · typically 7-14 days before the wedding. This is the real deadline and it is hard. Miss it and you are billed on the last number you gave or the venue's minimum. Read the clause before you pick a channel, because it is the date every other date is built backwards from.

5

The number you submit

You do, on the caterer's date · the day the final count is due. It is your confirmed yes count, not the replies your platform is showing — an online form with duplicate submissions and a pile of unattributed reply cards both inflate it. Reconcile to households before you send anything to the kitchen.

This page is about the channel. The sentence you print on a reply card is a different job, handled in RSVP card wording, and the fields worth collecting once you have picked a channel are in what to ask on your RSVP. If the QR row is the one you want, a QR code straight to your RSVP page covers generating and printing it properly. And whichever channel collects the reply, the chasing is its own piece of work — see automatic RSVP reminders.

Side by side

The four channels, scored honestly

Reply speeds here are planning estimates built from the ranges vendors publish, not measurements — treat the ranking as the useful part and the digits as rough. Every row includes what the channel costs us to admit.

1

Paper reply cards — about 12 days to reply, roughly half unchased

Cost: printing, plus a stamp on the outer envelope and a stamp on every reply envelope. Chase effort: highest, because you cannot even tell who is missing without a hand tally, and a card returned with no name written on it is unattributable. Reply-by it forces: five weeks out, and a mail date two weeks earlier than any online setup. What it uniquely gives you: an object, in your handwriting and theirs.

2

Wedding website form — about 5 days to reply, roughly seven in ten unchased

Cost: free on most entry tiers, paid for a custom domain or past a guest cap. Chase effort: medium — the dashboard names the silent households but cannot contact them. Reply-by it forces: four weeks out. Strongest at meal choice by dish name, dietary notes and separate sub-events. Weakest with guests who only use a phone and will not type a URL, and it quietly generates duplicate submissions you have to clean before the caterer's count.

3

QR code to a reply page — about 3 days to reply, roughly three in four unchased

Cost: free to generate, and it prints on paper you are already paying for. Chase effort: identical to the website — it accelerates the reply, not the chase. Reply-by it forces: four weeks out. The two failure modes are real: a static code cannot be re-pointed after printing, and a guest who will not scan has nowhere else to go unless you printed the link and a phone number beside it.

4

Reply by text — about a day to reply, close to nine in ten unchased

Cost: nothing on the reply side, no envelope and no stamp. Chase effort: lowest, because replies are attributable to a household automatically and reminders go only to the silent ones. Reply-by it forces: three weeks out, the latest of the four. Our own honest downsides: you need a current mobile number for every household, a wrong number reaches nobody and tells you nothing, a few older guests will still want a phone call — and nothing about a text is a keepsake.

Avoid these

Where channel choices go wrong

None of these are etiquette failures. They are the mechanical errors that turn a working channel into a list you cannot submit.

✕

Printing a URL nobody can type

Long, hyphenated, case-sensitive addresses are read by human beings off paper and typed into a phone with one thumb. Shorten it, keep it lowercase, and print it big enough to read in a dim hallway.

✕

Committing to a static QR code

Once it is printed, a static code points where it points forever. If the form moves, the platform changes or the link breaks, you are reprinting ninety-five invitations. Use a dynamic code you can re-point and the problem disappears.

✕

Offering four ways to reply and tracking none of them

Mail the card, fill the form, scan the code, text us, tell my mother at church — every extra route is another partial list. Two routes is the sensible maximum, and both have to end up in the same tally.

✕

Assuming online means you will not have to chase

No channel replies on a guest's behalf. Online replies arrive faster and are easier to count, which shortens the chase; it does not remove it. Budget for two rounds of chasing whatever you chose.

✕

Choosing a platform you cannot export from

The artifact at the end of all this is a file for the caterer — names, counts, meal choices, allergies. If the free tier will not export, you will retype the entire list under time pressure in the last two weeks.

✕

Going all-text without checking you have the numbers

Text is the fastest channel right up until you discover you have mobile numbers for sixty of your eighty households. Count the gaps first, then decide whether the missing twenty get a printed card or a phone call.

Free, and it runs in your browser

Compare the four channels against your own list

Enter your household count and your wedding date. It ranks the four channels on reply speed, shows roughly how many households answer each one without being chased, and dates the reply-by each channel forces you into.

Wedding RSVP deadline calculatorFree · no sign-up · runs entirely in your browser

Paper cards, a wedding website, a QR code, or plain text — side by side on speed, chasing, and cost.

Leave it blank and every answer below still works — you just get “four weeks before the wedding” instead of a printed date.

Private by design: every date and number here is worked out in your browser, and the dates and counts you enter never leave this page. We count anonymous usage — which mode people pick, nothing they type. Close the tab and it's gone, so copy your dates somewhere safe.

Four ways to collect replies

Four channels

Reply speed and unchased reply rates are planning estimates, not measurements — the ranking is what matters, not the digits.

  • Paper reply cards12-day reply
    about 33 of 60 households reply unchased

    Traditional invitation suites and guest lists with a lot of people who do not use the internet. Watch out: cards get lost both directions, and a card with no name written on it is unattributable.

  • Wedding website form5-day reply
    about 42 of 60 households reply unchased

    Couples who already have a website for travel and schedule details. Watch out: guests mistype names and submit twice, so the list needs cleaning before the caterer count.

  • QR code to a reply page3-day reply
    about 45 of 60 households reply unchased

    Bridging a printed invitation to an online reply without asking anyone to type a URL. Watch out: guests who will not scan need a second way in printed right beside the code.

  • Reply by text message1-day reply
    about 53 of 60 households reply unchased

    Getting a fast, attributable answer from nearly everyone, including guests who ignore email. Watch out: you need current mobile numbers, and a few older guests will still want to be phoned.

Decline, reply, and no-show rates here are planning estimates built from the ranges wedding vendors publish — useful for sizing a list, not a survey result.

Want the replies to chase themselves?Text My Wedding texts the invitation, collects the RSVPs, and nudges the households that go quiet — so the list is done before your caterer asks.
See the app →
✓
Keep exploring

More on collecting wedding RSVPs

How to collect wedding RSVPsFour ways to gather replies, compared→Wedding RSVP questionsTwenty fields worth collecting, and what each costs→Wedding RSVP deadline calculatorEvery reply-by date, worked out from your wedding day→When guests haven't RSVP'dThe post-deadline plan, day by day→Wedding attendance rateHow many guests decline, and how many to invite→The final headcountWhen the caterer needs a number, and which number→
Good to know

Questions about online and paper RSVPs

Is it OK to have an online RSVP for a wedding?

Yes, and it is now the majority choice. An online reply — a website form, a QR code on the invitation, or a text — is faster, cheaper and easier to count than a mailed card. The only genuine obligation is to leave a route in for guests who will not use it: print a phone number beside the link, or send stamped reply cards to the specific households you know need them.

Do people reply faster online or by mail?

Online, by a wide margin. As a planning estimate, expect a texted reply inside a day, an online form or QR reply within three to five days, and a mailed reply card around twelve days after it lands — because a card has to be opened, filled in, put somewhere safe, and then mailed back. That gap is exactly why a paper reply-by date has to sit five weeks before the wedding and a texted one can sit at three.

Do you still need reply cards if you have a wedding website?

Not for most of your list. Reply cards and a website form collect the same information, and sending both means merging two lists all summer. The setup worth paying for is a stamped reply card sent only to the households that genuinely will not reply online — count them by name, and send everyone else to the form.

Are free wedding websites with RSVP actually free?

The reply form is genuinely free on most platforms. What is commonly capped or paid is a custom domain, ad-free pages, a guest limit that a wedding list will cross, sending reminders from inside the platform, and — the one that matters — exporting your own guest list. Check the export before you enter ninety-five households, because your caterer needs a file, not a login.

What is the cheapest way to collect wedding RSVPs?

Deleting the reply envelope. A reply card costs printing plus a stamp on every single invitation, and it is the one stationery line no guest will notice missing. A QR code printed on the invitation, or asking for the reply by text, costs nothing on the reply side and gets an answer faster.

Can you ask for a wedding RSVP by text?

You can, and it gets the highest reply rate of the four channels, because there is nothing to install, no URL to type and no account to remember. The honest trade-offs: you need a current mobile number for every household, a wrong number tells you nothing, a few guests will still prefer a call, and a text is not a keepsake. Many couples text the ask and mail a card to the dozen households that need one.

What should an online wedding RSVP form ask?

Attendance per named guest, meal choice by dish name if your caterer needs numbers, dietary requirements, and a separate yes/no for any extra event like a welcome drinks or a next-day brunch. Use dropdowns and radio buttons rather than free text — free text is what creates the second round of chasing — and stop at around nine fields, because forms get abandoned past that.

You picked the date.
Let us collect the replies.

Text My Wedding sends the invitation by text, records every RSVP against the right household, and nudges the ones who go quiet — so your caterer gets a number instead of a guess.

Work out my RSVP dates →See the app